5 Ways To Keep Moving Forward In Life

1.  Practice thinking better about yourself.

You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself.  Thinking you’re not enough.  Trying to be someone else.  Someone who fits in.  Someone who’s less sensitive.  Less needy.  Less flawed.  Less YOU.  Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to scare people away.  You wanted them to like you.  You wanted to make a good impression.  You wanted to be seen as worthy and loveable.  So you could feel healed and whole. Now its time to accept who you are and only allow positive thoughts to enter. 

Yes, you are indeed worthy!  Your ideas are worthy.  Your feelings are worthy.  Your needs are worthy.  And without everyone else’s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth.  Even if it makes people turn their heads.  Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for awhile.

Even if your own confidence in yourself has been shaken!

2.  Change your mindset from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.”

Goals are important.  All journeys of change must begin with a goal.  And you also must have determination in order to achieve your goals.  However, what do you think happens when you are too determined, or too obsessed with a goal?  You begin to nurture another belief: who you are right now is not good enough.

The key is to remind yourself that you already are good enough; you just need more practice.  Change your mantra from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.” 

3.  Be mindful.

Mindfulness as a daily ritual is the ultimate challenge and practice.  It’s a way of living, of being, of seeing, of tapping into the full power of your humanity.

Ready to get started?

It’s simple, but far from easy.  Practice…

• Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
• Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
• Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)

4.  Find something to be grateful for in the present moment, despite the situation.

Happiness doesn’t always make us grateful, but gratitude always helps us smile.  Some may say that’s a cliché, but it’s not.  Gratitude is the foundation.  And happiness is simply the sacred experience of living with a genuinely grateful heart.
Expressing gratitude is so simple though, right?  How could it possibly make that big of a difference?

Yes, being grateful seems simple enough, but a grateful state of mind is unbelievably hard to maintain when life disappoints us.  And that’s the kicker – when we’re feeling down and disappointed, that’s exactly when a dose of gratitude is most powerful.

So what’s the best approach?

Being grateful starts with being present.  You can’t appreciate your life when you’re not paying attention to it.  And the truth is, we make our present situations much worse when we replay difficult past situations in our heads (“How could she possibly have done that to me?”), or when we ruminate over all the situations that might be problematic in the future (“What if he cheats on me?”).  In the present moment, our real situation is rarely as convoluted as we make it out to be.  And we can meet this moment with grace and gratitude, if we can truly stay in the present.

5.  Do something small for someone else – make them the center of your universe for a little while.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sometimes we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us.  And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect, to feeling lost and alone with our issues when we’re having a bad day or going through hard times.

So whenever I catch myself lingering at the center in an adverse state of mind, I do my best to briefly shift my focus, away from my own issues, and onto other people around me that I might be able to help.  Finding little ways to help others gets me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing alone in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need.  I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough or not is no longer the central question.  The central question now is about what others need.

3 Steps To Self-Acceptance

3 Steps To Self Acceptance

1. Create a self-accepting voice.

“This is the most important and helpful thing you can do to work on your self-acceptance,” .

Specifically, pay attention to your automatic negative thoughts. Then pause and ask yourself: “What am I feeling?” and “What do I need?”

Focus on “creating the self-accepting voice that validates you and provides what you need in that moment.”

Let’s say your automatic thought is “I’m so stupid! I can’t do anything right!”

Hold your arms or your heart. “[Do] whatever feels soothing and comforting. The goal is not only to rewire your thoughts, but also to comfort and soothe your nervous system.”

2. Feel uncomfortable emotions.

“Sometimes our lack of acceptance is the unwillingness to feel or experience uncomfortable emotions,”.

Some  can’t accept themselves exactly as they are because they feel too big or too heavy. Often others are feeling the “heaviness of sadness,” and berating themselves just perpetuates their negative feelings.

Connecting to that sadness and letting it go can lead to self-acceptance.

3. Revise unrealistic expectations for yourself.

“Adjust your expectations about what you can and should realistically achieve,” . Unrealistic expectations lead to self-rejection.

Start with your accomplishments. Many of us with shaky self-acceptance tend to minimize achievements, which perpetuates self-criticism. Instead, start speaking more positively and realistically about your accomplishments — whether they involve day-to-day tasks or professional goals.

For instance, instead of saying, “I should have gotten a new job last year instead of waiting this long,” say: “I’m proud of myself for getting this great job! I’ve worked hard for it.”

Instead of saying, “I only cleaned the house today; I should have been able to get the groceries and errands done,” say: “It feels great to have a clean house. I’m glad I got this done today. I can go to the grocery store tomorrow afternoon.”

Not sure if your expectations are realistic? Watch for these keywords to signify they’re not: “always/never statements, ‘shoulds,’ ‘it will never happen,’ ‘I can’t,’ [and] it’s too hard.’”

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Could Jealousy Ruin Your Life?

Jealousy & envy, let alone regret, are the most ridiculous unnecessary emotions that our brains can come up with. But, come up with them we will. Stupid brain.

The green-eyed monster creeps up every now and then, jealousy is something that can be prevalent when you are a perfectionist and want everything to go your way... all the time. 

We must channel that energy into something productive. We use it to ignite our fires, we use it to push ourselves further, and we use it to make friends.

God, do I get envious of people. 

With their beautiful products, their tight, tight copy, and their gorgeous hair. 

It took me quite a while to get a handle on the best way to process these emotions. 

There is no such thing as competition.

Whhhaaatttt?! Mind. Blown.

It’s true. All those people who you think are your competition? Nah. They’re your co-workers. They’re your support team. They are your motivation....

Life is too short to think that everyone’s trying to compete with you. Unless you’re a professional athlete or something, then they’re most definitely trying to compete with you. Sorry.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF…

• You see another influencer featured in a magazine 
  Dude, you need to celebrate their win. They work hard, too. They work as hard as you. Suck it up, be graceful, and give them a well deserved pat on the back. And then get back to work and hit up the editors of that magazine on twitter, it’s your spot next month.
• Everyone on instagram is at Event you wanted to go to
   Luckily, we live in an age where you’re never that far away from the event thanks to twitter & instagram. So, you missed out, follow the hashtag. Ask how everyone enjoyed the event. Start conversations. Make friends.
• That Person never seems to LOSE EVER, and you just metaphorically fell flat on your face
  Everyone is fighting their own battles, not everything makes its way to Twitter. Not everyone is a chronic over sharer like you, love. It might seem like nothing goes wrong, but I bet they once had an elevator incident (Cue Beyonce) and felt like the world was going to end... but kept it to themselves. Revel in that a little. 
• You didn’t get that job you interviewed for
  You wouldn't have liked it anyway. Go out and have fun that day, that’s way better than sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours..
• 
  

Authenticity Over Everything

Authenticity is about being yourself above all else. Honestly, its about making a conscious decision to show up and be real. Its the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are. 

For example lets take a look at singers. 

You can always tell who is just a puppet of the corporate marketing machine, who have their songs and lyrics written for them to sing, but you can always tell who wrote their songs from their heart, from their authentic selves. The fear that surrounds authenticity is the fear of not being liked. It was instilled in us when we were kids. Being different meant having a target on your forehead. As we grow older, we have a similar feeling of fear of rejection. What if nobody genuinely likes your authenticity?

 To be honest, its hard to let go, but once you let go of the spirit of proving the result is YOU living YOUR best possible life. The reality of the situation is life is short, and not only that... its yours. Why live it to prove something to anyone else?

We only have one life to live, why not make it an authentic one?

Always remember if you are your authentic self you have no competition.

Sheena Aaron

The 90 Day Shift Leader

 www.The90DayShift.com

Join the SHIFT Society on Instagram @The90DayShift and follow @StyleBySheena for Self Love & Style Posts.          

Quality Over Quantity

Quality is up to you..

Quality is set by you. It’s set by you determining what you will and won’t stand for. What is and isn’t important. Quality stems from you and you by your lonesome, because if all you do is try and match what your competitors are doing, you’re only going to be screwing the people around you

That means that you’ll sacrifice whatever you need to, in order to make sure that you aren’t sacrificing the quality of your services or products.

Even if nobody else can tell you’re not focused on quality…

…you’ll know. Believe me, you’ll know when quality isn’t important, and it will start to affect almost every element and area of your life.

When you know that you aren’t putting your best foot forward or putting your heart into what you do you won't feel great about life, try your hardest to push for quality in all areas.

The Power of Words

The words we speak and hear shape our lives. It is very important for us to become aware of how we are speaking. The universe always follows our command regardless if it is negative or positive. If you are struggling with negative thoughts and feelings, words and affirmations are a great way to reprogram yourself. We are very powerful creators and speaking things into being with strong emotion brings them into manifestation much quicker. In order to ensure the effectiveness of the affirmations focus your energy on your heart and repeat them with attention, conviction and strong desire.  

Being in power doesn’t have to mean being a dictator or bully. Power has a gentle side. Authorities can be encouraging and inspiring as well.

When communicating with others, don’t use statements or wishy-washy requests. Using the imperative form of a verb reverberates in people. For example:

“Hand me that folder, please,” is using the imperative form.

“Would you hand me that folder, please?” is wishy-washy, and doesn’t have the same tone of command.

Pro Tip: Eliminate the ifs, buts and maybe’s. Use the imperative form to gently push people to act.

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