3 Steps To Self-Acceptance

3 Steps To Self Acceptance

1. Create a self-accepting voice.

“This is the most important and helpful thing you can do to work on your self-acceptance,” .

Specifically, pay attention to your automatic negative thoughts. Then pause and ask yourself: “What am I feeling?” and “What do I need?”

Focus on “creating the self-accepting voice that validates you and provides what you need in that moment.”

Let’s say your automatic thought is “I’m so stupid! I can’t do anything right!”

Hold your arms or your heart. “[Do] whatever feels soothing and comforting. The goal is not only to rewire your thoughts, but also to comfort and soothe your nervous system.”

2. Feel uncomfortable emotions.

“Sometimes our lack of acceptance is the unwillingness to feel or experience uncomfortable emotions,”.

Some  can’t accept themselves exactly as they are because they feel too big or too heavy. Often others are feeling the “heaviness of sadness,” and berating themselves just perpetuates their negative feelings.

Connecting to that sadness and letting it go can lead to self-acceptance.

3. Revise unrealistic expectations for yourself.

“Adjust your expectations about what you can and should realistically achieve,” . Unrealistic expectations lead to self-rejection.

Start with your accomplishments. Many of us with shaky self-acceptance tend to minimize achievements, which perpetuates self-criticism. Instead, start speaking more positively and realistically about your accomplishments — whether they involve day-to-day tasks or professional goals.

For instance, instead of saying, “I should have gotten a new job last year instead of waiting this long,” say: “I’m proud of myself for getting this great job! I’ve worked hard for it.”

Instead of saying, “I only cleaned the house today; I should have been able to get the groceries and errands done,” say: “It feels great to have a clean house. I’m glad I got this done today. I can go to the grocery store tomorrow afternoon.”

Not sure if your expectations are realistic? Watch for these keywords to signify they’re not: “always/never statements, ‘shoulds,’ ‘it will never happen,’ ‘I can’t,’ [and] it’s too hard.’”

If You Are Ready To Start Your SHIFT - head on over to The90DayShift.com

Could Jealousy Ruin Your Life?

Jealousy & envy, let alone regret, are the most ridiculous unnecessary emotions that our brains can come up with. But, come up with them we will. Stupid brain.

The green-eyed monster creeps up every now and then, jealousy is something that can be prevalent when you are a perfectionist and want everything to go your way... all the time. 

We must channel that energy into something productive. We use it to ignite our fires, we use it to push ourselves further, and we use it to make friends.

God, do I get envious of people. 

With their beautiful products, their tight, tight copy, and their gorgeous hair. 

It took me quite a while to get a handle on the best way to process these emotions. 

There is no such thing as competition.

Whhhaaatttt?! Mind. Blown.

It’s true. All those people who you think are your competition? Nah. They’re your co-workers. They’re your support team. They are your motivation....

Life is too short to think that everyone’s trying to compete with you. Unless you’re a professional athlete or something, then they’re most definitely trying to compete with you. Sorry.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF…

• You see another influencer featured in a magazine 
  Dude, you need to celebrate their win. They work hard, too. They work as hard as you. Suck it up, be graceful, and give them a well deserved pat on the back. And then get back to work and hit up the editors of that magazine on twitter, it’s your spot next month.
• Everyone on instagram is at Event you wanted to go to
   Luckily, we live in an age where you’re never that far away from the event thanks to twitter & instagram. So, you missed out, follow the hashtag. Ask how everyone enjoyed the event. Start conversations. Make friends.
• That Person never seems to LOSE EVER, and you just metaphorically fell flat on your face
  Everyone is fighting their own battles, not everything makes its way to Twitter. Not everyone is a chronic over sharer like you, love. It might seem like nothing goes wrong, but I bet they once had an elevator incident (Cue Beyonce) and felt like the world was going to end... but kept it to themselves. Revel in that a little. 
• You didn’t get that job you interviewed for
  You wouldn't have liked it anyway. Go out and have fun that day, that’s way better than sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours..
• 
  

Authenticity Over Everything

Authenticity is about being yourself above all else. Honestly, its about making a conscious decision to show up and be real. Its the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are. 

For example lets take a look at singers. 

You can always tell who is just a puppet of the corporate marketing machine, who have their songs and lyrics written for them to sing, but you can always tell who wrote their songs from their heart, from their authentic selves. The fear that surrounds authenticity is the fear of not being liked. It was instilled in us when we were kids. Being different meant having a target on your forehead. As we grow older, we have a similar feeling of fear of rejection. What if nobody genuinely likes your authenticity?

 To be honest, its hard to let go, but once you let go of the spirit of proving the result is YOU living YOUR best possible life. The reality of the situation is life is short, and not only that... its yours. Why live it to prove something to anyone else?

We only have one life to live, why not make it an authentic one?

Always remember if you are your authentic self you have no competition.

Sheena Aaron

The 90 Day Shift Leader

 www.The90DayShift.com

Join the SHIFT Society on Instagram @The90DayShift and follow @StyleBySheena for Self Love & Style Posts.          

Quality Over Quantity

Quality is up to you..

Quality is set by you. It’s set by you determining what you will and won’t stand for. What is and isn’t important. Quality stems from you and you by your lonesome, because if all you do is try and match what your competitors are doing, you’re only going to be screwing the people around you

That means that you’ll sacrifice whatever you need to, in order to make sure that you aren’t sacrificing the quality of your services or products.

Even if nobody else can tell you’re not focused on quality…

…you’ll know. Believe me, you’ll know when quality isn’t important, and it will start to affect almost every element and area of your life.

When you know that you aren’t putting your best foot forward or putting your heart into what you do you won't feel great about life, try your hardest to push for quality in all areas.