5 Ways To Keep Moving Forward In Life

1.  Practice thinking better about yourself.

You have to admit, you’ve spent a lot of your life subconsciously belittling yourself.  Thinking you’re not enough.  Trying to be someone else.  Someone who fits in.  Someone who’s less sensitive.  Less needy.  Less flawed.  Less YOU.  Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to scare people away.  You wanted them to like you.  You wanted to make a good impression.  You wanted to be seen as worthy and loveable.  So you could feel healed and whole. Now its time to accept who you are and only allow positive thoughts to enter. 

Yes, you are indeed worthy!  Your ideas are worthy.  Your feelings are worthy.  Your needs are worthy.  And without everyone else’s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth.  Even if it makes people turn their heads.  Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for awhile.

Even if your own confidence in yourself has been shaken!

2.  Change your mindset from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.”

Goals are important.  All journeys of change must begin with a goal.  And you also must have determination in order to achieve your goals.  However, what do you think happens when you are too determined, or too obsessed with a goal?  You begin to nurture another belief: who you are right now is not good enough.

The key is to remind yourself that you already are good enough; you just need more practice.  Change your mantra from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.” 

3.  Be mindful.

Mindfulness as a daily ritual is the ultimate challenge and practice.  It’s a way of living, of being, of seeing, of tapping into the full power of your humanity.

Ready to get started?

It’s simple, but far from easy.  Practice…

• Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
• Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
• Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)

4.  Find something to be grateful for in the present moment, despite the situation.

Happiness doesn’t always make us grateful, but gratitude always helps us smile.  Some may say that’s a cliché, but it’s not.  Gratitude is the foundation.  And happiness is simply the sacred experience of living with a genuinely grateful heart.
Expressing gratitude is so simple though, right?  How could it possibly make that big of a difference?

Yes, being grateful seems simple enough, but a grateful state of mind is unbelievably hard to maintain when life disappoints us.  And that’s the kicker – when we’re feeling down and disappointed, that’s exactly when a dose of gratitude is most powerful.

So what’s the best approach?

Being grateful starts with being present.  You can’t appreciate your life when you’re not paying attention to it.  And the truth is, we make our present situations much worse when we replay difficult past situations in our heads (“How could she possibly have done that to me?”), or when we ruminate over all the situations that might be problematic in the future (“What if he cheats on me?”).  In the present moment, our real situation is rarely as convoluted as we make it out to be.  And we can meet this moment with grace and gratitude, if we can truly stay in the present.

5.  Do something small for someone else – make them the center of your universe for a little while.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sometimes we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us.  And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect, to feeling lost and alone with our issues when we’re having a bad day or going through hard times.

So whenever I catch myself lingering at the center in an adverse state of mind, I do my best to briefly shift my focus, away from my own issues, and onto other people around me that I might be able to help.  Finding little ways to help others gets me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing alone in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need.  I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough or not is no longer the central question.  The central question now is about what others need.

3 Steps To Self-Acceptance

3 Steps To Self Acceptance

1. Create a self-accepting voice.

“This is the most important and helpful thing you can do to work on your self-acceptance,” .

Specifically, pay attention to your automatic negative thoughts. Then pause and ask yourself: “What am I feeling?” and “What do I need?”

Focus on “creating the self-accepting voice that validates you and provides what you need in that moment.”

Let’s say your automatic thought is “I’m so stupid! I can’t do anything right!”

Hold your arms or your heart. “[Do] whatever feels soothing and comforting. The goal is not only to rewire your thoughts, but also to comfort and soothe your nervous system.”

2. Feel uncomfortable emotions.

“Sometimes our lack of acceptance is the unwillingness to feel or experience uncomfortable emotions,”.

Some  can’t accept themselves exactly as they are because they feel too big or too heavy. Often others are feeling the “heaviness of sadness,” and berating themselves just perpetuates their negative feelings.

Connecting to that sadness and letting it go can lead to self-acceptance.

3. Revise unrealistic expectations for yourself.

“Adjust your expectations about what you can and should realistically achieve,” . Unrealistic expectations lead to self-rejection.

Start with your accomplishments. Many of us with shaky self-acceptance tend to minimize achievements, which perpetuates self-criticism. Instead, start speaking more positively and realistically about your accomplishments — whether they involve day-to-day tasks or professional goals.

For instance, instead of saying, “I should have gotten a new job last year instead of waiting this long,” say: “I’m proud of myself for getting this great job! I’ve worked hard for it.”

Instead of saying, “I only cleaned the house today; I should have been able to get the groceries and errands done,” say: “It feels great to have a clean house. I’m glad I got this done today. I can go to the grocery store tomorrow afternoon.”

Not sure if your expectations are realistic? Watch for these keywords to signify they’re not: “always/never statements, ‘shoulds,’ ‘it will never happen,’ ‘I can’t,’ [and] it’s too hard.’”

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Could Jealousy Ruin Your Life?

Jealousy & envy, let alone regret, are the most ridiculous unnecessary emotions that our brains can come up with. But, come up with them we will. Stupid brain.

The green-eyed monster creeps up every now and then, jealousy is something that can be prevalent when you are a perfectionist and want everything to go your way... all the time. 

We must channel that energy into something productive. We use it to ignite our fires, we use it to push ourselves further, and we use it to make friends.

God, do I get envious of people. 

With their beautiful products, their tight, tight copy, and their gorgeous hair. 

It took me quite a while to get a handle on the best way to process these emotions. 

There is no such thing as competition.

Whhhaaatttt?! Mind. Blown.

It’s true. All those people who you think are your competition? Nah. They’re your co-workers. They’re your support team. They are your motivation....

Life is too short to think that everyone’s trying to compete with you. Unless you’re a professional athlete or something, then they’re most definitely trying to compete with you. Sorry.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF…

• You see another influencer featured in a magazine 
  Dude, you need to celebrate their win. They work hard, too. They work as hard as you. Suck it up, be graceful, and give them a well deserved pat on the back. And then get back to work and hit up the editors of that magazine on twitter, it’s your spot next month.
• Everyone on instagram is at Event you wanted to go to
   Luckily, we live in an age where you’re never that far away from the event thanks to twitter & instagram. So, you missed out, follow the hashtag. Ask how everyone enjoyed the event. Start conversations. Make friends.
• That Person never seems to LOSE EVER, and you just metaphorically fell flat on your face
  Everyone is fighting their own battles, not everything makes its way to Twitter. Not everyone is a chronic over sharer like you, love. It might seem like nothing goes wrong, but I bet they once had an elevator incident (Cue Beyonce) and felt like the world was going to end... but kept it to themselves. Revel in that a little. 
• You didn’t get that job you interviewed for
  You wouldn't have liked it anyway. Go out and have fun that day, that’s way better than sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours..
• 
  

Authenticity Over Everything

Authenticity is about being yourself above all else. Honestly, its about making a conscious decision to show up and be real. Its the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are. 

For example lets take a look at singers. 

You can always tell who is just a puppet of the corporate marketing machine, who have their songs and lyrics written for them to sing, but you can always tell who wrote their songs from their heart, from their authentic selves. The fear that surrounds authenticity is the fear of not being liked. It was instilled in us when we were kids. Being different meant having a target on your forehead. As we grow older, we have a similar feeling of fear of rejection. What if nobody genuinely likes your authenticity?

 To be honest, its hard to let go, but once you let go of the spirit of proving the result is YOU living YOUR best possible life. The reality of the situation is life is short, and not only that... its yours. Why live it to prove something to anyone else?

We only have one life to live, why not make it an authentic one?

Always remember if you are your authentic self you have no competition.

Sheena Aaron

The 90 Day Shift Leader

 www.The90DayShift.com

Join the SHIFT Society on Instagram @The90DayShift and follow @StyleBySheena for Self Love & Style Posts.          

Quality Over Quantity

Quality is up to you..

Quality is set by you. It’s set by you determining what you will and won’t stand for. What is and isn’t important. Quality stems from you and you by your lonesome, because if all you do is try and match what your competitors are doing, you’re only going to be screwing the people around you

That means that you’ll sacrifice whatever you need to, in order to make sure that you aren’t sacrificing the quality of your services or products.

Even if nobody else can tell you’re not focused on quality…

…you’ll know. Believe me, you’ll know when quality isn’t important, and it will start to affect almost every element and area of your life.

When you know that you aren’t putting your best foot forward or putting your heart into what you do you won't feel great about life, try your hardest to push for quality in all areas.

The Power of Words

The words we speak and hear shape our lives. It is very important for us to become aware of how we are speaking. The universe always follows our command regardless if it is negative or positive. If you are struggling with negative thoughts and feelings, words and affirmations are a great way to reprogram yourself. We are very powerful creators and speaking things into being with strong emotion brings them into manifestation much quicker. In order to ensure the effectiveness of the affirmations focus your energy on your heart and repeat them with attention, conviction and strong desire.  

Being in power doesn’t have to mean being a dictator or bully. Power has a gentle side. Authorities can be encouraging and inspiring as well.

When communicating with others, don’t use statements or wishy-washy requests. Using the imperative form of a verb reverberates in people. For example:

“Hand me that folder, please,” is using the imperative form.

“Would you hand me that folder, please?” is wishy-washy, and doesn’t have the same tone of command.

Pro Tip: Eliminate the ifs, buts and maybe’s. Use the imperative form to gently push people to act.

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If you are interested in SHIFTING your MIND, Body and Self Image in 90 days email Shift@stylebyheena for more details!

6 Ways To Get Organized NOW!

Organization is key, without it we are lost. Here are 6 Ways to Get Organized Fast.

1. Get a calendar and maintain it, always

Whether it's an old-fashioned desk calendar or the latest synced-across-ten-devices app-based wonder, the key is to use it religiously. If you find that by February you're back to jotting down appointments on sticky notes, that's a good sign you're slipping!

2. Set realistic goals and stay focused on them

Your goals are the North Star that you'll follow day in and day out to achieve the success you desire. Be sure that they are realistic and inspiring, and keep them constantly front of mind so you'll be reminded to maintain your focus on achieving them.

3. Set your priorities at the start of each day

Devote 20 minutes at the beginning of your business day to set your priorities. Make this time yours and yours alone by forwarding your phone to voicemail, ignoring your email, and keeping your schedule clear. If you have a hard time setting aside this time, reserve the time by making a daily appointment with yourself in--where else?--your calendar.

4. Prioritize your priorities

Tackle your top priority first and your lowest priority last. This may seem obvious, but how many times do we do the quick-and-easy, low-payoff tasks first, and save the more difficult, high-payoff tasks for later? Unfortunately, later often never comes!

5. Clean up your workspace

It's hard to stay organized and on top of your most important tasks and priorities when your desk or your office is a mess. Take an hour or two every week to organize the paperwork that is no doubt taking over every inch of surface area. File away the things you don't need and take action on the things that require it. While a cluttered desk may not be the sign of a cluttered mind, it certainly won't help you get and stay organized for success.

Why invest in getting organized? Because one great way to deal with the crises, emergencies, and many other things you can't control is to be totally on top of the things you can control. You owe it to yourself, your employees, and your organization to always be the best you can be.

6. Tie up loose ends at the end of each day

Set aside at least 20 minutes at the end of your day to tie up loose ends.  Go through your remaining work and make assignments to employees, forward information to coworkers as necessary, respond to e-mail and voicemail messages, file away the things that you need to keep, and toss the rest. Finally, quickly review your appointments for the following day.

Start your SHIFT today and enroll now!

4 Ways To Live Your Best Life

1. QUIT being jealous of others.

There's a reason it's called the green-eyed monster--jealousy is ugly. And where did it ever get you, anyway?

2. Be GENEROUS.

Making the world a better place--by being free with your time, energy and money--is a good place to start. By doing so you can create a domino effect that encourages others to follow in your footsteps.

3. Be APPRECIATIVE.

Besides, you have a lot.

4. ERADICATE a fear of failure.

Fear of failure can deter people from taking action yet if you never try anything you'll never achieve anything.

How To Add Value To The Lives of Others

There are many ways we can add value…

Create something someone can use
Inspire someone to take action
Lend a helping hand
Be a shoulder to cry on
Show someone how to do something
Show someone a better way
Provide a new perspective
Lead by example
Listen more
Give your full attention
Just be there for someone
Love them

3 Ways To Find Your Passion

1. Start With the Right Point of View

If you went into a restaurant with the strong opinion—“I’m not hungry. There’ll be nothing here I want to eat. I don’t want to be here”—the menu isn’t going to look appealing. You won’t explore it with due time or attention, and it’s unlikely you’ll find food you’ll enjoy eating.

The same principle applies to passion-seeking. If you’re convinced that finding your passion is hard, or that it’s not going to happen for you, you’ll remain closed to possibilities. You’ll block the little nudges, pulls, and signals that guide us all. After all, how can you expect to find fulfilling work if you don’t believe it exists?

Choose to adopt the perspective that you can do what you love with your life. One of the best ways to strengthen this point of view is to surround yourself with people who are living examples. How many of your friends and family are following their passions? If it’s not many, it might be time to expand your circle; associate with—and be inspired by—men and women who are inspired by their work.

2. Get Out Your Metal Detector

Once you’ve decided that your passion is findable, it’s time to look for evidence of what you already love to do. If you scan the landscape of your life, you’ll notice certain experiences peak up. It’s so valuable to delve into these “peak moments” and extract the key ingredients.

Make a list of the ingredients that truly mattered in your peak moments; don’t be distracted by the counterfeits.

3. Look for the Umbrella

When you look at all the ingredients that matter to you, they might at first seem entirely disconnected. Let’s say you love French, drinking coffee, playing with words, analyzing and categorizing, and being a leader within a community. How could you construct a career from these? It'd be like peering into your cupboard and seeing cocoa powder, tofu, and carrots and wondering: How could I possibly make something delicious that includes all of these?

This is the time to look beyond the ingredients and seek an umbrella; something that all of these ingredients can fit beneath. 

What might be your umbrella?

How To Make A Good First Impression

3 Ways To Make A Good First Impression

A Winning Smile!

As the saying goes, "Smile and the world smiles too." So there's nothing like a smile to create a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. So smiling is a winner when it comes to great first impressions. But don't go overboard with this – people who take this too far can seem insincere and smarmy, or can be seen to be "lightweights."

Be Positive

Your attitude shows through in everything you do. Project a positive attitude, even in the face of criticism or in the case of nervousness. Strive to learn from your meeting and to contribute appropriately, maintaining an upbeat manner and a smile.

Be Courteous and Attentive

It goes without saying that good manners and polite, attentive and courteous behavior help make a good first impression. In fact, anything less can ruin the one chance you have at making that first impression. So be on your best behavior!

One modern manner worth mentioning is "turn off your mobile phone". What first impression will you create if you are already speaking to someone other than the person you are meeting for the first time? Your new acquaintance deserves 100% of your attention. Anything less and you'll create a less than good first impression.

3 Ways To Create Your Own Breakthrough

1. Slow down. Give yourself time and space. Never be in more of a hurry than you have to be. Allow time for thinking, musing, just noodling around in your head with no apparent purpose. Give space in your thinking for ideas you haven’t had yet; allow openings for sniffing out the ideas of others. Haste is the enemy of creativity. Being busy all the time is a great way to stop any possibility of breakthroughs. You won’t break out of your old habits by rushing. When people are under pressure, they don’t have energy to try anything new. They reach for whatever they’ve done before, or for some supposedly “tried-and-true” answer. They don’t believe they have time to take risks with change. As a result, they rush headlong down the same old paths into the same old messes. Refuse to be hurried and surprising ideas and opportunities may present themselves.
2. When you think you’ve gone absolutely as far as you can, keep going. You’ve just reached the starting point. Breakthrough can’t happen until you pass the boundaries you believe are there in your life and thought. If you find a boundary, be happy. You’ve just found what you need to break through. Learning and creative thinking are your only sources of sustainable competitive advantage. Never let anything close them down.
3. Take your mind and thinking on trips away. Deliberately step outside your comfort zone. See what you can find. You may come back a changed person. Conservatism is the philosophy of always sticking with what you have and trying to defend it against change. It’s a hopeless attempt. The best, longest-lasting and most valuable ideas remain because they continually adapt to the times. There’s a word for things that don’t change . . . dead. The world is bigger, stranger, more wonderful, and less predictable than you imagine. You won’t find it limited to programs on your TV, or what you can find on the Internet, or what the media present to you. Go out there and look for yourself.

How To Stop Being Overly Sensitive

1.   Quit searching for someone or something to fix you.

Sensitivity is a temperament trait, not a medical disorder.  So nothing is inherently wrong with you.  Sadly, though, many certified health practitioners don’t understand this because sensory processing sensitivity is a recent area of health research.

Sure, highly sensitive people are more likely to have allergies or sensitivities to food, chemicals, medication, and so forth.  And they’re more prone to overstimulation, thus quicker to feel stress — which can lead to other health issues.  But sensitivity in itself is not something that needs fixing.

2.   Tell yourself, as often as necessary, that you are not a fraud.

Impostor syndrome isn’t exclusive to highly sensitive people.  Many conscientious and high achieving people fall victim to this nagging fear.  But the simmering discomfort about being found out is often constant for a sensitive person.

Why wouldn’t it be, considering you’ve spent a lifetime of feeling different from others and trying to fit in?  Maybe you blame your tears on dust in your eye during that cheesy TV commercial; or you sign up for the company fun run, even though you hate running and you know you’ll feel ashamed of how long your body takes to recover.  But even if you grew up displaying your sensitivity with pride, it’s unlikely you escaped the cultural pressure motivating you to disguise your real self to fit the norms.

3.   Seek out kindred spirits (and know that you are NOT alone).

You probably feel different and alone.  But the truth is, you’re not.  Many have experienced confusion in isolation before discovering that hordes of people have some idea of what it’s like to be you.  They’ve felt the surge of power that comes from being supported by like-minded souls.  And they want to pay it forward.

The key whenever possible is to hang out with sensitive people who are already flourishing, or at least open to those possibilities.  They understand not only how to manage their sensitivity, but also how to wield its superpowers.  They know what it’s like for you to feel endlessly under siege, and they can offer firsthand experience and wisdom to help you make your sensitivities work in your favor.

4 Ways To Dream Bigger

4 Ways You Can Invite Your Imagination to Dream Bigger

1. Ask questions. What do you want more of? What is your heart’s desire? What would an ideal day look like two (or ten or twenty) years from now? Who would you be hanging out with? As the answers come forward, make note of how they FEEL as that is a key indicator of your core alignment with what’s right for you. For example, you might see yourself on your yacht but if you tend to get seasick, that would be a fantasy vs. a dream.

2. Write your future bio in 100 words. Who will you be? What will you be known for? Who will you empower through your work? What will people say about you? The written word is one of the fastest ways to bring in big dreams.

3. Look at your ‘bucket list’. Consider the things you feel would make your life successful (the things you would be, do and have before you ‘kick the bucket’) and write them on a list. Pick the top three and savor them coming into sharper view in your mind’s eye. Notice the details and how you feel about what you’re seeing. If it feels right, take a few notes or record your impressions with a digital recorder so you can recall your dreams easier.

4. Work the 80/20 principle. The Pareto Principle states that 80% of our results come from a critical 20% of initiative. Consider the 20% of your life that feels happiest, most satisfying and joyful to use as a dreaming compass; then contrast that with the majority of what you find yourself doing most days. The idea is to put more energy behind what feels good vs. staying stuck in the constraints of routine. What would be possible if you could get rid of (or leave behind) the 80% that doesn’t feel great and spend it instead expanding the 20% that feels great?

3 Reasons You Aren't Finishing What You Start

1. Fear of failing to impress. 
One of the reasons people don’t finish tasks is their fear of being evaluated. “People don’t want to have their ability judged, they’d rather have their effort judged,” says Ferrari. Prolonging completion of a task or project could be one way of avoiding that fear of being harshly evaluated.

2. Fear of setting the bar too high.
Sometimes it’s not failure, but success that makes people clam up and avoid completing a task or project. This goes back to accountability, says Ferrari. Do too good of a job the first time around and you might be setting yourself up with impossible standards for the future. What if you can’t live up to that success?

3. Not wanting to put an end to the fun. 
If you’re having a good time working on a project or task, the prospect of finishing can be disappointing. This can lead people to belabor what they’re working on, simply as away of avoiding giving it up.