3 Ways To Eliminate Self Doubt

1. Get Comfortable With The Physical Sensations Of Fear. 

Your brain shuts down when your body goes into fight or flight mode. You want to get comfortable with the physical sensations of fear so that you can learn to manage them. Get comfortable with clammy hands, your nervous twitch, your shallow breaths, your increased speed of speech. It’s normal. 

2. Enhance Your Self-Image.

Stop replaying your past failures. There’s nothing you can do to change them. Instead recall, your past success and remember what that felt like.

Anytime you catch yourself, recalling past failures, cut it. 

3. Breathe Deeply Through Your Nose and Out Through Your Mouth.

When you are scared, your breath becomes rapid and shallow. Train yourself to take deep, strong, breaths. A 3 second inhale with a 2 second hold, followed by a 3 second exhale works wonders. 

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4 Steps To Get Rid Of Bad Habits Today

1. You have to want them to go.

In truth, some people actually want their bad habits to stick around. So the first thing is to go deep into the recesses of your heart and ask, Do I really want to give this up?

You do? Good. Then on to the next step…

2. Make up a list of all of the reasons you want to quit your bad habits.

Make them positive. Make the list long. Start with the really powerful and dramatic if you need to. Now memorize them. Put them in your mind.

You are making connections between stopping the bad behavior with what good things you will get from doing so. If you want to lose weight, then picture yourself slim and looking good in those skinny jeans. If you want to stop smoking, picture your wife actually kissing you rather than sending you to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

3. Choose.

Once you have the information, this comes down to one thing: an act of the will. Choose to do it. Say to yourself throughout the day, I am choosing to…

4. Take action.

This is tricky because there are two philosophies about it.

One theory is that you must take massive action—you must go all or nothing. Using the weight loss example, this person would go spend $500 to join a gym, rework their schedule and hit the treadmill every day for a year. They will get rid of all fat in the house. They go all out—and that works for some. You have to decide what will work best for you!

How To Deal With Insecurity

How To Deal with Insecurity

Here’s the secret: The obstacles actually show us the path. The obstacles are the path.

We can embrace these obstacles and work with them. In order to do that, we need to start to develop an awareness of when our insecurities are arising. We can use them as a mindfulness bell, ringing when we are troubled by fears and mistrust, telling us, “Hey! There’s some good material to work with here.”

And that’s they key: All of our insecurities are actually an opportunity to do some good work, to learn about how we work, to develop skills that will help us for life.

So start to pay attention, and notice when you’re being driven by insecurity. And then do the following work:

1. Forgive the past. If your insecurities have been shaped by a relative or authority figure criticizing you, recognize this. Then start to forgive them. Understand that they were driven by their own insecurities, struggling with their own demons. They behave imperfectly, but we all do. They weren’t right in what they did, but you can understand it nonetheless. And forgive them for their bad behavior, because holding on to resentment isn’t helping you. Let the past go, one step at a time.
2. Accept all of yourself. Pause and take a self-assessment. Notice the parts of yourself, both your body and your inner self, that you don’t like. Take a look at these parts of you, and see if you can send them love. See them for the imperfect parts of you that they are, deserving of love as a friend who is imperfect also deserves love. Think about how you’d treat this imperfect friend, and be the same way toward yourself. Give yourself assurance, give yourself compassion. Embrace all the parts of you, nobbly bits and all, and see the beauty in them. They are what make you who you are, and they are wonderful.
3. Practice self-approval. If you notice yourself wanting someone else’s approval, their praise and attention, their likes and retweets … pause, and instead replace that with self-approval. You can take away the power of others to approve you if you appropriate that power for yourself. You don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own. That doesn’t mean you don’t want connection with others, or love, but you can love others and be loved by them while also being self-approved. Accept yourself, completely, love yourself. And that’s all you need.
4. Embrace non-comparison. Comparison of yourself with how others look, what they’re doing, where they’re traveling, how much fun they’re having … it’s never a useful comparison, and it actively harms you. Instead, when you see someone else, instead of comparing yourself with them, see them as apples to your oranges. Be happy that they’re having fun, be joyful for their successes. They’re on a completely different path from you, and they can be happy and have a great time and you can too, on your own path. Wish everyone well, but see their awesomeness as different from yours.
5. Develop trust in the moment. Through all these practices, start to develop a trust in yourself that you’ll be OK. Develop a trust in the moment that it will unfold and all will be well. This develops over time, by making small predictions about the moment (“This moment will turn out OK”) and then seeing if the prediction comes true.

This is the path. You find the things you’re struggling with, and learn to work with them. Learn to shift your perspective. Learn to see what’s tripping you up, and turn it into an opportunity to practice new skills.