4 Benefits of Having No Expectations

1. You take sole responsibility for your decisions. I push myself because I like the challenge. I clean the kitchen because I want it neater or because I don’t want anyone to have to worry about it. This sidesteps any of those thoughts that someone else is “making me” or expecting me to do something. This is about me running my life, doing what I consider important. It’s Nietzsche’s Ubermensch who creates his own values, who doesn’t succumb to herd mentality, who avoids going on auto-pilot.

2. You separate your wants from shoulds. The herd mentality and auto-pilot are usually tied to the shoulds. These come from our heads, our superego, the parent voice in our heads. Shoulds are by definition expectations imposed by others. When we fail to do them we feel guilty. When we do follow them we often feel driven...and expect a payoff for our efforts: Since I am doing what I really don’t want to do, I do expect others to appreciate, notice, give me a reward, pat me on the head, do what I expect. When the expected payoff doesn't come, our disappointment and resentment are fueled.

The way out of this mental dance is focusing on wants – heart, gut-based rather than head based. Values, core beliefs, foundation of our integrity. Expectations are a red flag that shoulds are the probable drivers. Skip the expectations and you’re falling back on wants. There’s you…and you.

3. You avoid feeling… disappointed, angry, etc…. Nuf said.

4. You avoid becoming a martyr. All this disappointment and resentment can overtime congeal into martyrdom, that lethal combination of domineering shoulds and unfulfilled expectations that drag on: I do everything I should. I expect people to …appreciate, reward, etc….it doesn’t happen. I trudge on and on and on. 

5 Ways To Be More Grateful For The Life You Are Living!

Here are 5 Ways to Be More Grateful For The Life You Are Living Today!

1. Remember the Bad. To be grateful in your current state, it is helpful to remember the hard times that you once experienced. When you remember how difficult life used to be and how far you have come, you set up an explicit contrast in your mind, and this contrast is fertile ground for gratefulness.

2. Watch your Language. Grateful people have a particular linguistic style that uses the language of gifts, givers, blessings, blessed, fortune, fortunate, and abundance. In gratitude, you should not focus on how inherently good you are, but rather on the inherently good things that others have done on your behalf.

3. Think Outside the Box. If you want to make the most out of opportunities to flex your gratitude muscles, you must creatively look for new situations and circumstances in which to feel grateful.

4. Ask Yourself Three Questions. Utilize the meditation technique known as Naikan, which involves reflecting on three questions: “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?”

5. Go Through the Motions. If you go through grateful motions, the emotion of gratitude should be triggered. Grateful motions include smiling, saying thank you, and writing letters of gratitude.

If you would like to delve deeper and begin your SHIFT today, head on over to The90DayShift.blogspot.com

3 Signs Its Time To Take It To The Next Level

3 Tell Tale Signs ITs TIme TO Take it to the next level

1. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DESERVE MORE

Your sheer volume of talent could fulfill the staffing requirements of a small entrepreneurial business and then some. The knowledge that you have to share with the world is tremendous. You feel like you should have been a shaman instead.

When you feel a disconnect between what you have now and what you feel like you are capable of giving to the world, it’s a sign that you need to challenge yourself more. We are not talking about material possessions, we are talking about lacking the opportunity to maximize your full potential.

This is a great time to ask yourself:

What would I do if money and time were no object?

Now, ask yourself why you haven’t been working toward this goal yet and decide to take one step toward achieving your dream by challenging yourself.

2. YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GROW THROUGH EXPERIENCE

When people you know talk about travelling, you have more places that you want to go than places that you’ve been. When people talk about the cultures and languages that they’ve experienced, you only know the one you were born into.

You need to diversify your portfolio of life experiences by challenging yourself more. Think of your life as an investment; invest your time, money, and energy into the activities that give you the biggest return. If it doesn’t feed your soul in some way, or help you grow into who you were meant to be, find what does.

3. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANXIOUS PEOPLE

When you challenge yourself, you force yourself out of your comfort zone. This creates some anxiety about the new situation. If you aren’t sure you understand the emotion of anxiety, it’s time to challenge yourself more.

Fear of failure when we undertake a new challenge is normal. What is not normal is avoiding any new challenges out of fear of failure.

Bonus: YOU LIKE THE FACT THAT YOUR LIFE IS EASY

Unfortunately, when your life is easy, it’s a sign that you’ve fallen into a routine and that you need to challenge yourself more. Sure easy is hard to argue with, but it’s not what sucking the marrow of life is about.

Life and living it include both joys and pains, difficulties and times of ease and relaxation. If you are living it easy, you can be sure that a challenge will present itself to you soon, because nobody has it easy all of the time.

Rather than life happening to you when you aren’t prepared, get ready for it. Get physically and mentally fit. Be ready to take on the challenges that life is about to throw at you. Prepare for a mental assault and resolve to stay strong in your faith in your capabilities.

Challenge yourself to be physically strong enough to survive a significant illness. Even if you are healthy now, push yourself to be the strongest you can be so that if your body suffers a setback, you can handle it easily.

If you are ready to make your SHIFT... check out The90DayShift.com

3 Steps For Successful Goal Setting

1. Develop confidence.

You must develop confidence to take actions that will advance you and your business or career. But building confidence is not as simple as it sounds. The most successful people are those who can manage the contradictions of life; who are aware of but not constrained by their limitations. Insecurity disables us from conquering our inner demons and making something of our lives. Arrogance makes us come off as know-it-alls, which erodes our level of influence, and after a while people will stop listening to us. Confidence is the balancing act between pride and uncertainty, and it is a work in progress.

You must develop confidence to take actions that will advance you and your business or career.

2. Talk it out.

You need to surround yourself with trusted friends and mentors who will be honest with you about your performance and what areas need improvement. Listen to them. Listen to yourself.

This ability to simultaneously doubt and trust yourself is at the core of effective self-assessment. For example, many people find themselves repeatedly crashing into the same brick wall, never changing course. If I find myself blocked at every turn—whether because of people above me or perhaps by some competitive situation—I step back and regroup. When we encounter multiple failures, our nature is to blame circumstances, other people, the equity of the universe. But we also have to step back and ask, Could it be me?

This is where the ability to have a cognitive discussion with yourself comes in, where you can disengage and look at the situation with a longer view. That perspective is critical to determining whether your actions are helping or hurting you and your organization.

3. Make your move.

You can carefully plot your own success and evaluate your effectiveness as you go along, but at the end of the day, you have to get out there and play in traffic. You are never going to be totally trained or prepared; there is no schedule of required classes. You have to meet people, develop relationships and swap best practices. You have to make things happen. Trust your healthy self-confidence and inner gyroscope to keep you on the right course.

The Bonus Step is 4. Hold YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE.

I hope you enjoyed the three tips for successful goal setting, if you're ready to make the SHIFT visit The90DayShift.com to ENROLL!

3 Ways To Be More Enthusiastic

1. 1. Figure out why you're lacking enthusiasm. You're on this page for a reason. Most likely someone around you is giving you crap about your lack of energy. Very few people look objectively at themselves and say, "Hmm. I wonder why I'm not peppier." But whatever your reason, you probably have an inkling as to why. Is it your job? Your love life? Or is it more of a universal, 24/7 thing that's dragging you down?
   

   • It's natural to get stuck in a rut. These things happen. They also end at some point. But then there's clinical depression and that's a whole other can of worms. If it's something you've never thought about, think about it now. Is it a lack of enthusiasm or is it a bigger issue? What's your gut tell you?

   2. Start thinking positively. If someone handed you a math test and said, "Here's the exam. It's stuff you didn't even dream of touching in college. Good luck, kid," how might that feel? Pretty daunting, probably. If instead they said, "Here's the exam -- it's gonna be tough, but it's doable," what would you think then? You'd be a lot more motivated and feel a lot better about taking that exam! The same goes for enthusiasm; you're not gonna get excited about something if it's terrible!
   

   • Think about it. How easy is it to be excited about something that's doable and that you know you're capable of achieving? It's a lot harder to get enthusiastic about things that we straight up don't think will ever materialize. And what's often the difference? Our way of thinking. Sometimes, that's literally the only obstacles

   3. Define your goals and how you'll achieve them. Now that you're at least trying to think positive, what are the goals that you'd like to achieve? How would you go about achieving them? What do you want to be enthusiastic about? It's hard to be enthusiastic when we're floundering about life without purpose.
   

   • Knowing exactly what you want to do and exactly how you want to go about it is giving you something to be enthusiastic about. If you want to get skinny, it's hard to be enthusiastic about wanting to get skinny. But if you're working out 30 minutes a week and eating tons of veggies, that's direct behavior to get excited about.

4 Ways to Attract Good ENERGY TODAY!

Here are 4 ways to attract good Energy Today!

Cut off negative influences. Often it’s not our own energy that’s low, but the toxic vibes of others that disrupt our well-being. Take a moment to think about how certain people in your life are affecting you: Are they draining you mentally and emotionally? Are their actions having adverse effects on you? Relationships are supposed to replenish your energy, not deplete it. Have no remorse in cutting off people who cause you more harm than good.

Recognize your power. Stop thinking that you’re some weak person who has no control over their circumstances. Your energy is the most incredible element about you. Recognize that you’re equipped with the ability to change anything with which you’re unhappy and create a greater reality. Your inner strength automatically picks up as you strive for new beginnings.

Stay still. You must learn to work with universal energy, not against it. When things just aren’t going your way, sit still and allow a more favorable energy to return. Like the tides of the ocean, energy ebbs and flows. And sometimes the universe is doing us a great service by not giving us what we want when we want it. So if you’re constantly trying and failing, take a step back and wait for the right energy in the right time.

Heal yourself. Miracles can’t manifest until you’ve unclogged your energy of hurtful memories and negative emotions. Forgive and detach. Leave everything that has damaged you in your past. Sometimes it’s as simple as telling a person that you’re releasing their energy from your life. Other times, spending time among nature or playing with children can act as soothing reminders of the most beautiful forms of energy in our world.

3 Small Changes That Make A Big Difference

1. Be Happy With Who YOU are!
Love Yourself and the skin you are in, and if you dont like something about yourself, Change it! Always remember you are uniquely created and beautiful just the way you are!


2. Express more vulnerability.
Compliment someone once a day. The lady sitting next to you on the metro with cute nails or the women standing in front of you at the check-out line who has some cool food in her cart. Instead of thinking about something positive you feel about them — tell them. While you’re eating a salad with your best friend on a Sunday afternoon, tell her that she means the world for you — and you’re thankful she puts up with you. Tell your parents that you don’t know how the heck they have as much patience as they do or the coworker who sits across from you that you appreciate how hard she is working and things will eventually get easier.

3. Switch up your day-to-day grind.
When the days start to blend together and you feel like you can’t change much due to your overwhelming work schedule, initiate a small change in the morning that’ll carry you through the day, like wearing a different perfume or cologne.